Obituary of Thomas L. Donnelly II
THOMAS LEIGHTON DONNELLY II
November 17, 1935 – December 29, 2020
Tuesday, December 29, 2020, at age 85. Survived by his wife of 58 years Rose S. Donnelly, son Sean P. (Amylouise) Donnelly of Penfield, daughter Alexis B. (Roman) Murij of Delmar, New York; sister Virginia Donnelly Belba of Las Vegas, Nevada, brother James E. Halpin of Odessa, New York, brother-in-law Joseph R. Matus of Watkins Glen; granddaughter Robynne C. Yokota of Baltimore, Maryland; cousins, nieces and nephews. He was predeceased by his parents, Elsie R. Halpin in 2005 and Thomas L. Donnelly in 1939, his stepfather Robert E. Halpin in 2007, sister Nancy H. (Joseph) Matus in 2004, and aunts, uncles and cousins.
Tom was born in Marathon, New York, the eldest child of Elsie R. Donnelly (neé Goodnow) and Thomas L. Donnelly. His father, a farmer, died tragically after an accident in 1939. His mother later married Bob Halpin, and in 1943 they moved to the Halpin farm near Odessa, New York. Tom and sister Ginny grew up with younger Halpin siblings Nancy and Jim on the family farm. Like most who grow up on farms, Tom learned the value of hard work, and he developed a love of nature and growing things. These were with him for the rest of his life.
Tom was also fascinated by science. After graduating from high school in Odessa in 1953 he studied physics at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. He left RPI to join the US Marine Corps in 1955. After completing an overseas deployment in Okinawa, he studied electronics at Treasure Island and became a radio technician. Tom was proud of his service, but after four years he saw his path forward as a civilian. In 1959 he was discharged as sergeant and joined General Dynamics in Rochester as an electronic technician. There he met a secretary, Rose Stevens. The two became inseparable, married on May 26, 1962, and made a home in Irondequoit.
Tom joined Xerox in 1963 in the Research division, working on the exciting new science of xerography. He loved working on the cutting edge of this technology. He authored several technical papers, and he later contributed to the development of many Xerox copiers and printers including one of the first color copiers. He was awarded a number of patents related to xerographic development.
Tom and Rose’s son Sean was born in 1966, and daughter Alexis followed in 1967. Tom made the most out of opportunities to spend quality time with his family. He and Rose became avid campers, taking the children on many trips from Maine to Florida, then later camped cross-country to visit sister Ginny in California. Tom instilled his family with the love of nature and the environment, of learning, science and astronomy, music, art and photography. He was a gardener of all things in need of nurture.
Tom also passed on his broad-minded understanding of spirituality. He was a devoted Christian, but appreciated all that could be learned from a wide range of spiritual experiences and faiths. Focused on deeds more than words, he strove to practice his faith by helping others, and by seeing the best, the Divine Spirit, in everyone around him.
Tom took things seriously when the situation demanded, but otherwise he had a great sense of humor. He often had a joke to pass along or a funny story to tell, and saw the humor in everyday situations. That laughing heart, that light-filled optimism, went with him everywhere. He valued all those around him, and communicated his gratitude frequently.
Strongly motivated to complete his college degree, Tom had been taking night courses at the Rochester Institute of Technology since 1961. In 1968 he graduated with a B.S. in Applied Science, leading to his promotion to Engineer at Xerox.
In 1972 the family moved to Webster. They became active members of the community and of St. Paul’s Church. When their children were old enough, Tom encouraged Rose to go back to work, then to further her education and complete her BS in Dietetics at RIT. He was a loving husband and father, who never stopped being there for his family, extended family and friends. He helped out in a number of family crises and challenges over the years, always doing whatever was needed. Whether being a calm, logical, helping presence, or bringing more resources to bear, he always made a difficult situation better.
In 1995 Alex’s daughter Robynne was born, making Tom a grandfather. He truly loved this role as “Grandpa Tom,” doing “grandpa things.” Spending time with Robynne brought him deep happiness.
Tom retired from Xerox in 1997, and kept busy with family activities and projects. When he had extra time, he consulted at Xerox. Then a new opportunity presented itself. As a farmer’s son Tom had been driving tractors and pickup trucks since age 12. Upgrading his driver’s license in his 70’s and driving a Webster school bus on many different routes was a fun challenge for him. And he loved interacting with the kids.
When his wife Rose began to become disabled around 2010, Tom cared for her in every way possible. After he suffered heart trouble and a stroke in 2015, it was time for him to turn the focus on himself for the first time in many decades. He needed to re-learn many activities, but Tom surprised his physical and occupational therapists with his enthusiasm as he regained many of his capabilities.
Living in Penfield since 2016, first at Atria Assisted Living, then at Heathwood, Tom made many friends among residents and staff members. He loved talking and getting to know people. He exuded positivity, graciousness and love to everyone he met. He was beloved and adored by many, especially as a brother, husband, father, and grandfather.
The family would like to express their gratitude to all the staff members at Atria Penfield, and at Heathwood Assisted Living in Penfield. The loving care provided to Tom throughout his time at both places is deeply appreciated. He referred to many of you as “angels.” The family also wishes to extend their particular thanks to the staff at the Fairport Baptist Homes who did all they could to make his final days comfortable, and for making a heroic effort to extend them.
Due to the pandemic, there are no public calling hours. A memorial service is planned for this summer. Those wishing, please consider a donation in Tom’s memory to The Nature Conservancy (nature.org), Feeding America (feedingamerica.org), or a charity of your choice.
